Thursday, April 1, 2010

And so it begins...

Many people often told me that the first year of marriage was the hardest. This time last year we were moving into our first house, and counting down the days until we said "I do". Six weeks later we were on the most beautiful beach with the most amazing friends and family there to witness us start our lives together. Easy... and breezy! And so it began, our first year of marriage together. My grandma has often relived her first year of marriage with my adorable grandpa, telling me how she thought she had made the biggest mistake of her life. Seeing them now, 50+ years later, you'd never guess it was ever hard. Let's take a few things into consideration:

1. My grandma was 12 years old when they tied the knot.
2. My grandpa left the next day for the Korean War.

OK, this is how I remember the story. I think she was 17 and it was actually the following month that my grandpa left. Let's get honest, what's the difference between the facts and my reality?

Here we are on our wedding day, May 20, 2009.

Our situation was/is a bit different.

1. I was an extremely mature 27 year old when we got married. By mature I mean, emotional and moody.
2. Ty did not leave for a war the day after we committed the rest of our lives to each other.
3. We lived together before we were married so we were able to agree that all chores were Ty's responsibility moving forward.
4. We don't share bank accounts. I pay the bills and he pays me. I'm that good of a wife.

I would like to think that Ty would agree that our first year married has been easy. It's right in line with what I learned about Ty as a partner early on. Life should be easier with that person, not harder. We "fight" about stupid things and laugh about it later. I will admit though that I do go to bed mad. Gasp! I know, I know - I have broken the cardinal rule of all marital advice, but hey, that's me and it works. I wake up in the morning, laugh and kiss my husband, always acknowledging that I was mad last night and we both laugh at how immature I was. Or he'll admit to being wrong and apologizing too. We're so cute. (Let's be clear on what I mean when I write "fight". I get annoyed and tell him how I annoyed I am [with him], right or wrong, and he listens. He may leave the room afterward, he may stare at me blankly and he might, just might, put me in my place right there. Nine times out of ten, he listens unemotionally and let's me vet it out and move on, never "adding fuel to the fire", as my mom puts it.) The reason this first year has been easy has largely, if not all, to do with the fact that my husband is amazing and lets me be... happy, sad, annoyed, frustrated, fat, ugly, awkward, sexy, inappropriate, rude, drunk, or a complete and total wreck. It must be fun for him to live each day not knowing what version of his wife he is going to get that day. I, on the other hand, know exactly what I am going to get - a steady, handsome, showered, funny, positive, adorable husband. Like I said, easy... and breezy, for me anyway!

I know what you are thinking.

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