i love rocking you to sleep. tonight you were dozing off and as you relaxed, your binky dangled from your lips as you broke into little smiles. whenever you do this i feel like its your subconscious way of telling me you had a really good day. like you are falling asleep to little images of your day - funny faces your daddy and i made to you to get you to giggle.
this past week your daddy went away for work and was away from you for the first time since you were born. we sure missed him. it was so cute to come home from work on thursday because you obviously had had the best day with him. when i came over to swoop you up you nuzzled into me and kept swapping looks between daddy and i. you'd look at him and smile, then over at me... then at him. then at me. it was like all things were right again in your little world again. putting you to sleep those two nights he was gone was hell. i'm just being honest. you couldn't settle down for the night. i really think it's because you missed your daddy. you obviously didn't really know-know that he was gone, but it was obvious that something was missing for you. it was like you were just waiting for something to happen. you were waiting for him to come home. just like benny does, who waits by the door the second he leaves and rarely leaves it until he comes home. (it always breaks my heart when he's gone for overnights because it's already bad enough that I MISS him, but to see little benny lay flat in hopes that he'll be walking in just any minute... now you!?)
it's just the best thing watching you grow up sweet boy. you are learning so much every day. you are so smart. you are really starting to love being read to. auntie stayed over on tuesday night and ready you a few stories and it was so sweet watching how into it was. we added this to your bedtime routine and you melt my heart when you look between my face as i read back to the book - you go back and forth and it's like you really are following along. advanced i tell ya. you started growling this week too - another "i just want to eat you up, it's so cute" development.
this working mama is doing ok. i sure miss you, but i'm busy and before i know it, i'm heading back home to kiss you, kiss you, kiss you. you are having fun with your daddy and i'm having fun getting back into the swing of things. i will tell you this, my time with you is so much more special now. i want to eat up every second with you - even the not so fun, crabby dab times where you test my patience. the weekends are sacred and i really do treasure our time together as a family. know that.
ok, you seem to be sleeping pretty hard. it's my turn to settle my brain and hopefully get at least a three hour stretch of sleep in. i am sure i'll be seeing you around the 2am - 3am hour. if i'm "lucky". (love you!)