Sunday, March 4, 2012
but i'm the mom
calling all working mamas. this chick is having a hard night and i need to hear from you. tell me it's going to be ok. tell me it's not as bad as i think it's going to be. tell me i will survive. tell me my baby is going to be just fine with three bottle feedings per day while i'm at work. tell me what i want to hear - but tell me the truth. i know it's going to be fine. i know wyatt is going to be MORE than fine. but i'm on the dark side tonight and while i can usually see the bright side just fine, tonight's another story. i know he'll be happy in the hands other people that love him. but i'm the mom. no one will ever love him like i do.
i see all of these stay-at-home mom blogs. and i love them. i'm obsessed with them really. like this one, and this one and this one... but where are the working mom blogs? you know, the one's where the moms who work also breast feed until age one, make their own baby food, and put their little one's in fuzzi bunz diapers? are these things still possible? i plan on doing two of those three things. (while i considered washable diapers, i couldn't imagine having my MIL worry about "my system" [put the diaper shells here, the inserts here, and don't forget to throw the liners here...] it just seemed like too much). i plan on breastfeeding as long as i can. and i plan on making my own baby food. i am not only planning on it, i want this for my baby. and if i want it, i will make it happen. but i am someone that looks to people for inspiration. super mom - are you out there?! send me tips. send me energy. send me peace.
i want it all. i want me time, marriage time, baby time, family time, friend time, etc. i know i can have it all but in smaller doses. i may have only added one element into my life 4 months ago, but that element is top priority. i make time for everything else because these things are important to me. balance is important to me. but here's the thing. four months ago, i swapped out one element for another - work for baby. things are different now. i've got this piece of my heart that i'll be leaving at home everyday. this little piece that's been with me everyday for over a year.
i wish i could bottle up wyatt's smell and take it to work with me. (even if i could do this i'd probably cry every time i opened up said bottle to take a whiff.) i wish i could stop time. (even if i could do this i'd probably only complain that i wish things would start moving again.) i wish i could go back to november 7th (you know, the day AFTER i pushed a baby out of my you-know-what... actually, i'd do it all over again tomorrow. best.birth.ever.) and do the last 4 months all over again.
i can say this: i enjoyed every second of my maternity leave. hey, pregnant friends: i've said this before and i will say this again. enjoy this time. the good and the not as good (because it's ALL good in the end) and promise me you will enjoy your time off with your baby. eat it up. drink it up.
and please, if you figure out a way to bottle it up, pass your trick on to me stat.