Monday, August 26, 2013

my first

there's something about your first baby, and i know that now. of course there is something about your second too - and i'm sure your third, fourth and fifth if you are so lucky (or crazy - whichever you prefer). but my first made me a mama. wyatt has paved the way and shaped me into the person i am today, the mom i always wanted to be. i know this now, more than ever. he brought new meaning to an already pretty amazing life - making it amaze balls, you know, the infinity of amazing. he's my "big kid" now. a big boy. and it really feels like it just happened overnight. maybe because it did. on august 6th, he was the only baby i knew. my little guy. my bambino. my monkey. on august 7th, he was brand new to me again. he was bright eyed, and more ready than i knew to be a big brother. i will never forget that moment where he saw his sister for the first time. the moment that defined our family of four. this meeting made it real. and oh how sweet it was. and it's already been (2 days shy of) 3 weeks, and the excitement he has and the love he shows to summer is just as fresh as it was that first moment. i know that when these two have their tough moments over the years, i'll look back on that first morning where it was us, on the bed. me holding both my littles, while ty took pictures and videos of this time we had imagined for the 10 months prior. i'll remember my heart. and how full it was. how i had never seen that smile on wyatt's face before. and at the same time, i knew mine had never been bigger or more real. i was so proud. i didn't care that i had slept for an hour, or that my whole body ached from awkwardly pushing my girl out in the bath tub only 6 hours before. or how my lady parts felt elephantitis-ish. or that my hair looked like dreads. or that my gut was out - loud and proud. or that i hadn't brushed my teeth for well over 24 hours. none of that mattered because i had my sweet boy, my little lady, and a husband that is a true partner - in every sense of the word.

i've had about 21 days to take this all in, and i feel like i'll need the next 21 years to digest this life we've created. i feel like nothing really reminds you of how fast times goes until you have kids. the change in them every day is this constant reminder to cherish every stage of their life because before you know it, they don't need you (like this) anymore.

i'm a sappy mama tonight, who loves her life and... who hasn't taken her placenta pills. i'm grateful to be here, living and soaking this time in. today was a good day, despite the every two hour wake up calls last night. it's funny how us mamas just learn to rally, isn't it? (i try very hard to not think about the fact that i probably won't get a full night of uninterrupted sleep for most likely another year.)

we're adjusting, and seeing giant strides in our big kid's ability to show love to his sister without literally strangling or suffocating her. which allows me to breath a huge sigh of relief, knowing that what every one keeps telling me has to be true:

it gets better.

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